Fresh Start

As most artists, I've attempted to create a comprehensive site and blog many times over my career and have failed. I push myself to far and don't always focus on the basics I think is why I fail. This year I my mantra is to crystallize. I've done a lot and accomplished a lot in my life, and it's time for me to keep pushing forward with everything I've learned.

2019 was difficult because I injured my arm at work with repetitive stress. Years of working service industry while hustling on the side with my art had taken it's toll. Additionally, my abusive mother committed suicide, and my cat of 15 years died. I felt I had lost everything but at the same time a weird sense of freedom I was unsure how to utilize. I worked hard at a lot of things and feel I failed in a lot. However, I keep telling myself to fail is a First Attempt In Learning (not to be overly cheesy positive.)

2020 is already starting to turn around. I applied to grad school, yet to be determined if I am accepted but I am hopeful. I'm going to participating in Celebrate Your Body, a fashion show here in SF focused body positivity. I joined a Zine Club and made another zine with the goal of over the winter to participate in the zine fests with all my self published works. Most importantly, I have a deep sense of satisfaction in my life and what I do that I never have felt before.

It hasn't been easy, it never is, but I will keep moving forward, keep creating, and keep sharing my experiences. Right now, it's trying to get all my shit together I've done on this website and share what I feel I'm comfortable sharing with the public. Tonight it's watchig the newest episode of Picard (such a good series right! I have to do some new art of Patrick Stewart.) and tomorrow I won free tickets to a Soul Ska show here in Oakland at the Elbo Room. Live the moment.

Right now I'm thankful also because I have beautiful chickens I raised from chicks who really are wonderful birds. I also have one duck - chalice - who thinks she's a chicken. I get eggs and cuddles from them. Additionally, I have a cat named Poseidon who showed up at our doorstep on Halloween last year. She is an angel and the biggest snugglebug in the world.

I also take care of a feral cat colony at my house. I gain so much pleasure from it, it really makes me happy. It heals an abandoned hurt part of me to take care of these cats. I wouldn't have it any other way. While I know everything is temporary, I appreciate this house being a true slice of heaven that it is.

Let's see how 2020 evolves.

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